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You found your new normal during these busy times of quarantine, and you were doing all right. But now each day seems more difficult than the one before, and you feel like, Why bother? Trying to do any of your everyday activities feels like swimming in molasses… and you. just. can’t

It is hard. And it seems unfair that the world keeps turning while your life is on hold… indefinitely. You are not alone in this feeling. And maybe knowing that you have a virtual community in the same boat will help you through these heavy days. So might knowing that what you are feeling is nature’s way of helping you shift your energy to the things that can help you survive in the long run.

Most likely you are experiencing depletion of your surge capacity, which is a collection of adaptive mental and physical responses used for survival during short term stressful situations—like all the adjustments you made to your sleeping, eating, socializing, working and exercising habits to manage at the onset of quarantine. But as quarantine has become long term and continues to disrupt and threaten lives, the more stress you experience wears you out and leaves you lethargic, unable to concentrate or care.

Here’s what science tells us about our “surge capacity” for handling stress—and why you might feel more burned out than ever right now.

If someone had told you on New Year’s Eve what the next year would hold, you would not have believed them.

Founder of stress research Hans Selye (1907–1983) defined stress as the “nonspecific response of the body to any demand.” In his research, Selye distinguished acute stress—like the fight or flight you feel when you run from a bear—from chronic stress—like all the hard things you have to do during an ongoing pandemic.

Calling this the “general adaptation syndrome (GAS),” Selye summarized the total response to stress in three stages:

  1. The alarm reaction
  2. The stage of resistance
  3. The stage of exhaustion

Applying this theory to the journey many of us are experiencing during the pandemic sheds a light of solidarity on how months of uncertainty, anxiety and stress impact our well-being.

The pandemic was a surprise that caught the world off guard. Reeling back on your heels, you entered the first stage of pandemic stress with the fear of catching COVID-19. Adrenaline and cortisol ran through your veins to help you think clearly and act fast to restore your balance as you navigated the new terrain.

Then, the second stage of stress emerged with life under quarantine, where you found ways to adapt and developed defenses to strengthen your mental and physical resistance—you surged in order to manage quarantine on all levels and in all facets of life.

No wonder six months later, as the pandemic continues, you are exhausted—this final stage renders ineffective all that you did before to cope.

The COVID-19 pandemic seems like it will never end, and the chronic stress it causes is burning you out.

It can be difficult to rally and meet the day head-on when every day feels the same. “This feeling of hopelessness wears you down, leading to a higher level of stress than you’re accustomed to, for a longer period of time than you’re accustomed to, without access to the usual coping mechanisms you’re accustomed to,” explains Dr. William Orme, a psychologist and behavioral health expert at Houston Methodist Hospital in Texas. “As a means of self-preservation, you disengage to avoid the stressors altogether,” he continues, and “in the process, you avoid doing things you know you should be doing.”

But as quarantine persists, so must you.

When you can’t change the situation, “the only thing you can change is your perception of it,” said educator and family stress researcher, Dr. Pauline Boss. Her definition of ambiguous loss—a loss that’s unclear and lacks a resolution—describes clearly what is being experienced to some degree by everyone these days.

“In this case, it is a loss of a way of life. It’s the loss of our freedom to move about in our daily life as we used to,” says Dr. Boss. “What we used to have has been taken away from us… all things we were attached to and fond of, [are] gone right now, so the loss is ambiguous,” Dr. Boss explains.

This kind of loss can leave you searching for answers, complicating and delaying a natural part of the experience of grief—acceptance. But acceptance doesn’t mean giving up, just changing how you look at things. By accepting that life is different right now, instead of resisting or fighting reality, you are able to use that energy elsewhere to be proactive and constructive so that you can find meaning, satisfaction and motivation again during quarantine.

Here are some ways to shift your energy to what you can manage:

Focus on maintaining and strengthening important relationships
Nothing can replace being with family and friends in person, but embracing your way of staying connected —zoom, a text, email or phone call—allows you to feel a sense of control and community.

Focus on what you can do right now, not what you can’t
Take care of the little things you can control, like nutrition, sleep, exercise and hygiene. Enjoy the sense of accomplishment and satisfaction they can bring to boost your mood and help face your stress.

Focus on what life holds for you right now
Pay attention to and appreciate what the day brings you right now, finding the hidden positives that could help you face the actual tasks and stressors in front of you.

Focus on new and old activities that fulfill you
Creative activities like cooking, gardening, painting, or house projects can be especially satisfying right now because they have a planning element and a here-and-now experience element that can be grounding.

Bottom Line: A sense of control in your daily life can be the self-care that gets you through these uncertain days. And knowing that you are not alone in this experience can be a relief. By being patient with yourself and with the situation we’re all in now, you can use your energy to tend to the things that help you build the resilience to face anything that comes your way. You’ve got this.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Burnout is not depression. If you suspect what you are feeling goes deeper than you feel you can manage, contact your medical provider for prompt attention.

School administrators, public health officials and parents have struggled to answer the question of how—or whether—to send kids and teachers back to school this fall, with COVID-19 cases on the rise in the majority of states and local transmission rates remaining high in many areas.

The biggest voices have picked up their megaphones to amplify the debate, with the American Academy of Pediatrics and the Centers for Disease Control coming out in support of reopening schools with specific protections in place. Other organizations, such as the National Federation of Teachers, urged a gradual, cautious approach.

But recent data seems to point toward good news: Preschools and elementary schools are not superspreaders of the virus, according to researchers. The major outbreaks that some educators and parents feared might result from schools re-opening for in-person instruction do not seem to be coming to pass.

Shockingly (and sadly) there is currently no coordinated, federal effort to track COVID cases in schools. So all of the information that we have is coming from uneven reporting from school districts and from independent researchers, such as the National Covid-19 School Dashboard project, led by parent and researcher Emily Oster of Brown University.

And admittedly, it’s still early days yet—cold and flu season has scarcely begun, and the New York City public school system, for example (the nation’s largest, with over 1 million students) has only been open for hybrid instruction for six weeks. But in many states, schools have been open since late July or early August, and in numerous other countries schools have reopened, to various degrees, without a corresponding surge in coronavirus infections.

A recent report on school reopening research from the United States and internationally put it clearly: “Widespread transmission can occur among school-age children, but that there is very little evidence, at least in the context of relatively low community transmission, that schools have been a driver of transmission.”

That sentence bears re-reading, though, because it puts the good news about schools reopening into an important context: where there is relatively low community transmission, schools can reopen safely without fears of creating a major outbreak.

In almost every conversation about reopening schools, the focus has been on what schools need to do to lower the risk of viral transmission: Temperature screens, frequent testing, student cohorts, in-school health clinics, planning for outbreaks, spacing out desks, serving lunch in classrooms, staggering arrivals, alternating schedules, requiring masks, washing hands.

But according to health experts, reopening schools safely isn’t about what schools need to be doing. It’s about what our country needs to be doing. And we’re not doing it.

The sad truth is, when coronavirus transmission is unchecked in the community that a school serves, no amount of hand-washing or social distancing will prevent the risk of infection from traveling to the school community too.

This summer, the New England Journal of Medicine published its own paper on reopening schools, voicing its support for reopening elementary schools but shifting the focus away from a laundry list of to-dos and must-haves for beleaguered school administrators, underfunded school districts and overtaxed teachers.

Instead, the health and education experts who wrote the opinion focused on what should be painfully obvious to all of us by now: We need to close nonessential indoor services, such as restaurants, bars, gyms, theaters and bowling alleys, in order to lower local virus transmission rates so that kids can go to school safely.

As the NEJM article explains, “It would be best—and evidence from many countries demonstrates that it’s possible—to lower community transmission rates by means of stringent control measures…so that schools can reopen this fall with an acceptable level of safety.” Epidemiologists have been urging for months that communities work to get their transmission ratio down to 10 (or fewer) new daily cases per 100,000 people in order to safely reopen schools—although with the virus out of control in many states, some infectious disease experts have suggested that the case ratio could be as high as 25 in 100,000 before shut-down measures need to be put into place.

Under conditions of controlled community spread, however, more schools could reopen with more confidence, as long as they were also supported and funded appropriately. “We believe that primary schools should be recognized as essential services—and school personnel as essential workers—and that school reopening plans should be developed and financed accordingly,” the NEJM article notes.

Controlling community spread of the virus is an achievable goal, as has been observed in other countries where schools have managed to reopen without seeing an accompanying spike in transmission—bu that requires both national leadership and responsible local prioritization. “This should be a national priority,” Anita Cicero, deputy director of the Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security, told Pro Publica. “It’s measurably more important than reopening bars and restaurants.”

And therein, apparently, lies the real problem. We have chosen, as a country, to prioritize non-essential services and activities like bowling alleys and restaurants over schools.

The authors of the NEJM paper, Dr. Meira Levinson of the Harvard School of Education and epidemiology experts Dr. Müge Çevik and Dr. Marc Lipsitch, addressed the risks and benefits of children and teachers returning to schools, emphasizing the many reasons why in-person school is such a high priority—for our economy, for social equality and children’s well-being and development.

“The fundamental argument that children, families, educators, and society deserve to have safe and reliable primary schools should not be controversial,” the authors write. “If we all agree on that principle, then it is inexcusable to open nonessential services for adults…if it forces students to remain at home even part-time this fall.”

So how do we make schools safe to reopen? We choose to, by making decisions that prioritize controlling the spread of the virus.

We choose to open schools for kids by choosing to wear masks.

We choose to open schools for kids by choosing not to open non-essential services for adults.

We choose to open schools for kids by choosing to fund schools so that they can afford the services, tools and staff they desperately need in order to follow public health recommendations.

We choose to open schools for kids by making responsible decisions—the kinds of “adult” decisions our kids are relying on all of us to make.

“Our sense of responsibility toward children—at the very least, to protect them from the vicissitudes of life, including the poor decision making of adults who allow deadly infections to spiral out of control—is core to our humanity,” the authors write. We can be the grownups our kids need us to be.

Close the bars. Close the bowling alleys. Close the gyms, the indoor restaurants, the indoor movie theaters.

That way, we can really show that we prioritized reopening schools.

This post has been updated.


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